What Am I Supposed to Focus On?

Not too long ago, I found myself sulking to the Lord. “I do a lot of things, God. I write, blog, paint, play the piano, mother, wife, cook, clean. But I do none of them well. What am I supposed to focus on?” And do you know what He whispered? “Love Me well.” That was it. Simple. Profound. Possible? Loving God well?

Since that day those words have been lodged in my brain. Love Me well. Love Me well. But I can I do it? Can loving God well be done?

“And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.” This is the first commandment. Mark‬ ‭12‬:‭30‬

I’ve written about this before; knowing I need to love God well, but not knowing how. But I keep getting stuck in my own head trying to figure it out. And then He whispers, “Put down the phone.”

And I don’t.

He whispers, “Walk away from the computer.”

And I don’t.

He whispers, “Close that book.”

And I don’t.

He whispers, “Turn off the TV.”

And I don’t.

My search to learn how to love God well has been in vain. I’ve been searching in the wrong places. I have turned inward to my own thoughts. I’ve turned outward and to the ideas of people — looking in books, at blogs, on social media — and found glimpses, but nothing whole. And I’ve given up, time and again — turning on the TV, tuning out my deep desire for something (or Someone) far more significant. Discouraged and exhausted by my failure.

Failure. I hate it. It reveals I can’t do the thing I’m trying to do on my own. It proves that I need a Helper. And my Helper has slowly been revealing all along that my focus has been off.

My Focus Has Been Off

I have focused on what I should be doing. I should be writing, painting, teaching, cleaning. I have focused on what I want to be doing. I want to make a beautiful blog, a gorgeous instagram page, a jaw-dropping display at my next bazaar. I have focused on what I could be doing. I could be homeschooling an extra hour a day or learning to bake pies or going to another prayer meeting. None of these things are wrong…but my focus?

My focus hasn’t been on Jesus.

And how can I be loving God well, if I pay Him no attention? If I refuse to heed His voice? If I ignore His word? Forsake His people? Or neglect time in prayer? I can’t.

Repentance Brings Focus

So I must repent again. Not just turning away from all the things that distract me, but determining to turn toward Him. Because repentance brings focus. Through it the Holy Spirit enables me to focus my gaze on Jesus, to listen to Him, to spend time with Him, to enjoy His body of believers, and to talk with Him.

Repentance brings focus. It brings clarity. It straightens out my priorities. And most importantly, repentance reveals His goodness, His glory, and His grace.

Father in heaven, for far too long my focus has been off. I have allowed myself to get distracted by this world and my own efforts. Thank you for your forgiveness. Thank you for your patience. Please enable me to surrender my shoulds, my wants, and my coulds to you. Please let all the distractions fade into the background as I focus my gaze on you. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Friends, where has your focus been? Are you loving God well? Or are you, like me, letting the world distract you from His goodness, His grace, and His glory? Let’s bring our junk out into the light and have faith that God will cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

Only by grace,