Do you remember way back in the day when Amy Grant first sang “I Have Decided”? I do. I was just a kid and enjoyed that song so much. I would blast that cassette tape on my stereo, shout the lyrics at the top of my lungs, and dance like crazy in front of my bedroom mirror. Oh, it was so much fun!

But, oh, how it confused me so.

Being good is just a fable? I just can’t cause I’m not able? What is this Grant girl talking about? How do you get to Heaven if you aren’t good?

Despite the truth that I was shouting louder than loud I was deceived. I had no idea what grace was. The deceiver had me convinced that in order to get to Heaven I had to live a life of full of good deeds. I had to keep all the commandments perfectly and if I sinned I had to repent right away, before the second coming or I wouldn’t make it into Heaven.  Satan had me believing that God would only accept me if I led a perfect life. It didn’t take long and I gave up trying to live that perfect life.

I could probably count on one hand the number of times I opened my Bible during my teens. I stopped praying.  Why try talking to someone who I thought expected perfection out of me!?!  Later I found myself in drunken stoopers, in one inappropriate relationship after another, and ultimately in a deep depression that I could only control with medication.

The Devil had me deceived and nearly defeated. Nearly.

But praise the Lord!  Somewhere along the way I began to understand how much I was and am loved by my Maker (John 3:16, Romans 5:8). I realized God created me and all of mankind knowing that we would sin and He would ultimately have to die for us (Ephesians 1:3-7). I began to see the mercy God had showed me over and over again (Psalm 86:15, Ephesians 2:4-5). He began to remove the scales from eyes so that I could see the beauty of The Cross (John 19:30). I began to understand grace (Ephesians 2:8). I began to see my worth in His eyes (Psalm 139:14). I began to realize I was believing lies (John 8:44).

So what did I do?  I made a decision and now I can shout these lyrics louder than loud and know exactly what I’m singing.

I have decided
I’m gonna live like a believer
Turn my back on the deceiver
I’m gonna live what I believe
I have decided
Being good is just a fable
I just can’t, cause I’m not able
I’m gonna leave it to the Lord

There’s a wealth of things that I profess
I said that I believed
But deep inside, I never changed
I guess I’d been deceived
Cause a voice inside kept telling me
That I’d change by and by
but the Spirit made it clear to me
That kind of life’s a lie

So forget the game of being good
And your self-righteous pain
Cause the only good inside your heart
Is the good that Jesus brings
When the world begins to see you change
Don’t expect them to applaud
Just keep your eyes on Him and tell yourself
I’ve become the work of God

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9