Hey folks, will you please join me in welcoming Meg to the blog today? Though I haven’t known Meg for long I have fallen in love with her passion for Christ and His Church. I have been inspire more than once by her ability to see the many facets of the Church; which is why I have asked her to helps us answer the question why bother with church? Today she shares the journey Jesus took her on to fall in love with His people. Once your done reading, please be sure to let her know how her story has touched you. Only by grace, Kelli
I nervously sat down in one of the rear rows with my husband and children. The atmosphere was nice, people were friendly. The music and harmonious voices flowed up throughout the sanctuary and all I could think about was, “Are my kids behaving?”
Trying to calm them down to no avail, I took their little hands and whisked them down the hallway while the worship went on without me.
Inside, my chest burned. Jealousy of the kid-less couples swam in my head and I hadn’t a clue how opposite of Christ my attitude had morphed into. It was a slow fade I suppose.
All I could think was, “Get me out of here. I don’t fit in. Why bother?”
As I came out of the nursery I glanced across the room and saw a couple of ladies whispering.
Despite the fact it probably had nothing to do with me, all the memories from being picked on in school came rushing back up into my frontal lobe.
Church was over but at least I got to organize the DVD’s in the little room while the kids played.
Played. Humph. That isn’t even why we came.
The group I always wished I could eat out with afterwards was huddled and hugging on one another. It’s funny how the enemy plays tricks on our minds when we are most vulnerable. It’s as if the lense you see through becomes all-things-negative.
As we pulled out of the parking lot I felt like I did frequently: hungry for connection and bitter about the lack of it.
I was raised in church from the age of seven. Right away my sensitive heart felt the tug to confess with my mouth my need for Jesus. His story about being fully God and man yet dying for me was so real and left me awestruck.
Young and innocent, hungry for companionship, I sought Him daily as a child through my preteen years.
As I grew, I began to question leader’s intentions a lot, or their qualifications I should say – because I would see them teach but feel hurt by something that was done or said.
I had put people on some preverbal pedestal and got crushed each time they did not meet my expectation. This put me on a windy path of searching for the perfect group of people to learn from and be around, only I found….there were none.
When we came back to our home church after venturing around, it was during this time I saw God doing a huge change inside of me.
No longer holding onto the past, the pains of yesterday where I had taken people for granted, misunderstood, and inwardly judged them were gone.
I was now healed and whole, grateful for their unconditional love and able to truly love them through and through. All the time I spent wandering has been redeemed.
We can walk into our home church now and be completely us. The lies of the past told me I had to change to fit in, wherever I went. Now at the age of thirty-one I can I honestly say I don’t care to fit into a social class, I only want to conform to Jesus.
Lifting my hands in worship, free from worry of what others think, I can just as easily tend to my children without caving to dark thoughts because the Light is there now.
I can watch my fellow church family caravan to the local diner knowing I need to get home. It no longer rubs me the wrong way.
No longer needing to be seen or heard, I go to church to give – no longer only to get. I go to hug and see if someone needs a friend. I go to lift my hands up to Jesus.
It was a heart thing. God gets all the credit. I praise Him for healing my heart towards people.
They know we are not perfect, and we know they are not either so our eyes are not on each other but rather fixed on Jesus who’s perfect love is without borders, spanning the entire globe.
As believers in Christ, we are temples and He dwells within us. (see 1 Cor. 3:16)
If you currently aren’t joined to a body of believers, don’t feel less than but spend time with God and watch your relationship with Him form and grow into a beautiful breathing, organic dialogue. Then, you can go be the church to someone else. He will lead you where you need to be.